Its Guest Post Day and I was teamed up with the very lovely Jen AKA Mummy Mad at her blog The Mad House. Check it out its fantastic.
So here is Mummy Mad's Post
My youngest child MiniMad will be starting school full time in September and to be honest I am a little frightened. Not frighten for him, no he will be fine, he has his brother in the year above and he loves Preschool and has been asking to go for about 4 months.
No it is me I fear for. You see I have really enjoyed the last 5 and a bit years, which have been spent at home looking after my children, enjoying their company, getting messy, crafty, playing trains, making dens, just being a child with them too.
I fear that the time has come for me to re-enter the real world, don't get me wrong, being a mummy full time is the hardest job I have ever had. All the responsibility and accountability without any recognition, appraisals or real feedback, but stepping back in to the world of paid employment scares me.
It feels me with dread and terror, but it needs to be done, as the Mad Family finances are demanding it. But what can I do. We relocated back to the North East of England when Mini Mad was born, so I don't have an employer to go back to. I was a Facilities Manager for a large software firm in Berkshire pre minimad, not something that there is a great need for here in our little patch of the North East.
The area has just been blighted by the closure of the local steel plant and any employment is hard to find, let alone part time, ideally term time only employment. I have been discussing this with MadDad and have even approached the local Tesco, Morrisons etc, but they don't have any positions available and they just keep saying I am over qualified.
Yes I could work in admin in a school, but how many of those positions are they available, nothing, but I keep asking and I keep looking.
But somewhere along the line my self confidence has eroded and a fear of the workplace has taken its place. Where has the successful self assured business woman gone. Left in her place is a bumbling nervous wreck. It shouldn't be like this. The skills I have learnt as a mother as possibly the most important I have every picked up and include
Peace Negotiator - ever tried dealing with two boys 15 months apart?
Domestic Engineer - feeding four people each and everyday, negotiating the fickle likes and dislikes of toddlers.
Interpreter - Oh yes school gate politics
Project Manager - so many activities, so little time
How to Manage a budget
Negotiation skills, ever tried getting a child to bed.
Patience - I have the patience of a saint now, much more than before children.
Yes these skills are transferable to the real world of work. they become, decision making, independent thinking, negotiation, budgeting and book keeping, multitasking, and time management skills, but I am still filled with dread at the prospect of putting myself out in the real world again. Fear of rejection, fear of being dismissed as a waste of space.
I want to shout out to any prospective employers out there, I have been busy doing the most important job in the world, raising my children, being their main influence and running my household. I have been busy being a mummy.
Mummy Mad
The Mad House
Muminthemadhouse@orangehome.co.uk
Hello lovely! This is what I was meaning partly in my post a while ago... mothers are so under valued in society. It is only natural that you feel like re-entering the 'real' world is feeling scary for you. The fact that you feel you are going back into something, just illuminates the fact that women become detached or thrown into another world when leaving the work world and looking after children full time. I was a stay at homer, and constantly felt just a whiff of inferioity in the company of people from the 'real' world!
ReplyDeleteI really hope you find that nuch needed job, as of course your confidence will suffer each time you find either rejection or no job there at all. Fancy telling you you are over qualified! That is crazy, you just need the money for gawds sake, you don't want to own Tescos and the like! As for all the experience that you have gathered being a Mum, well, there are grown men who find looking after children harder than being at work. I really feel there needs to be a different attitude from employers and society towards re-emerging Mums!
It must be so hard for you, but I keep my fingers, toes, and eyes crossed for you that you find some work out there! suzie xxxxxx
Oh Suzie, thank you for the lovely encouraging words, it is hard being a woman sometimes!
ReplyDeleteI've only been off work for about 10 months, and I'm already feeling terrified of returning to the 'real' world in a coupld of months' time.
ReplyDeleteI can bet that once you've got over the initial fear of starting somewhere new, you'll relish the new challenge and be a huge success, whatever it is you're doing.
I think you just have to be patient and wait for the right thing to come along. It might take a while, but something will come up and then you can go out there and grab it.
x
Like Young Mummy says, I'm sure something will come up at the right time :)
ReplyDeleteHave you thought about doing something using using your fab crafty skills?
Like the commenter above me, I'm a big advocate that if your skills and time don't fit in with what the employer needs then go it alone. There's tons of ways to make money online, and you definitely have the skills.
ReplyDeleteThanks guys, I am trying with the crafts. I have opened a folksy and Etsy store. Any ideas would be welcomed
ReplyDeleteYou are obviously very talented and don't knock the skills you have gained bringing up the boys they have probably made you tougher than you think. Someone once told me even if you are terrified on the inside you can still act on the outiside like you are the most confident person in the room. In my job I have to put on an act and be a bubbly confident, outgoing person but in reality I am actually very shy, reserved and get very nervous but when I'm in work mode I try and put on another character and most of the time can pull it off. I'm also already thinking about returning to work and it does make me nervous but I know something will fall into place and I'm sure it will for you too.
ReplyDeleteIts been fantastic swapping with you today Mummy Mad and hope to stay in touch x
Oohh that's exciting - crafts business. I hope you succeed and that it's as enjoyable as it sounds it should be!
ReplyDeleteI have had a blast with guesp post day as always. I hope you have had a few new guests Louise and that you get some new readers from it, I have already subscribed!
ReplyDeleteHey Jen,
ReplyDeleteIn my life before kids I managed a bug successful recruitment agency and I always took on andpersuaded employers to take returning Mums as their dedication and skills were fab. Maybe see if any of your local agencies have a good consultant who is pro-returners and would market you out for work.
With the confidence thing, defnately just act confident even if you do not feel it inside.
I still work in HR and recruit staff all the time so if you ever wanted a second opinion on your CV just shout. Mich x