I tried every bottle out there and all reduced her into a screaming mess so I gave up on bottles last month and instead have been trying her with a cup. This has been more successful and what began as most of the milk going down her top she is now managing to take about 5oz so I have now dropped her 11am feed and replaced it with formula from the cup. Today I have started to also cut out her 3pm feed and replace that with formula too so in effect I will only be BF her first thing in the morning and last thing at night.
So I should be elated she has finally accepted that there is another alternative to me feeding her and I can see me getting back to normality. Why then do I feel incredibly emotional about it all? It's after all what I wanted but for some reason I feel upset and confused by this.
The same thing happened when I switched over with Pop Princess. I said with her and the same with RB that I wanted to BF till she was 6 months exclusively and then cross over, she was easier as she took a bottle with a little less fight but the transition seemed smooth.
BF has such a powerful hold over me its by far the greatest bond making factor for me personally and it's the one area of total control I have, I am or was the only person that could provide her with what she needed and now that's slipping away. But more deeper than that I guess its the fact that she isn't that little newborn any more like her sister before her she is growing up fast and she may well be the last baby I will have.
I have enjoyed BF for the most part but I know I am now ready to move on and as she is no longer crying when offered an alternative to me feeding her I know she is ready too.
So as I write my boobs are sore and huge, I am feeling every so slightly hormonal and I hope I'm not being too selfish for wanting to give up and have my life back. But yes the time has come and I hope that this time next month when she will be weaned off me completely that I wont' be feeling as guilty and I have one happy little baby.
Unfortunately I'm going to need to keep covered up for the next few days as I look like I have a pair of water melons growing out of my chest!!!!
I kept going till 9months with B although it was only 1st thing and last thing and it had dropped considerably since he began solids. I would have dropped it before but he wouldn't take milk out of a bottle! I felt sad at the end though as I thought that closeness we shared was ending, but I was glad not to have nipples that were being bitten anymore too! It is nice now to be able to enjoy a glass of wine too of course!
ReplyDeleteI didn't breastfeed (wanted to just didn't happen for various reason) and it always makes me feel a bit better that this one was one thing I didn't have to go through (felt really bad at the time).
ReplyDeleteIt probably doesn't help but at least you can always look back and remember how good it was. You will still be close as I don't think I could be closer to my little one even if I had breast fed him.
Well done for doing as long as you have.
Just remember to do what you think is the right thing for both of you at this particular time
ReplyDeleteI think I went through all the same emotions as you. When Lara finally took a bottle, the transition from boob to bottle happened a lot quicker than I had originally expected and when I was aiming for 2 feeds a day by boob, I just couldn't manage it. I felt relieved to have my own life back but a little disappointed that I was no longer needed.
ReplyDeleteAh i really understand this. Neither of my boys would take a bottle. I used to stomp about, pouting and moaning about how it wasn't fare, i was tied to them at the hip while all the other mothers could go out and enjoy a drink. Then of course by 8 months they were happily drinking from a cup, and i was left feeling a little jilted. No bottle weaning here either!
ReplyDeleteM2M