Monday, 28 June 2010
The Gallery - Emotions - Goodbye Nan
This weeks gallery post is a special one. The prompt is emotions but this week its linked with Josie at Sleep is for the Weak and her Writing Workshop. I have not particpiated in the writing workshop before but I am so glad Tara at Sticky Fingers has introduced me to it and I will definitely be taking part in the future.
I always knew if anything were to happen it would be me that would find you, I had run the scenario through my mind several times but then when I came round one day and discovered it had actually happened my reaction didn’t quite fit what I had pictured.
I was scared, no terrified I knew something was wrong when you didn’t open the door and the curtains weren’t open, we had joked the night before on the phone how you would need to be up early as after a year off whilst I was on maternity leave it had also been a year since I had used you as my dog sitter.
You adored Finnie and it gave you something to look forward to, something to occupy your lonely days and a friend to talk to. It was Finnie that I sent it when I cautiously opened the door and peered in. I could see you on the floor in the lounge your legs just in sight.
Panic, screaming and my heart feeling like it may explode. I called out to you to see if you would move before I approached. You didn’t. Finnie tried to stir you but you wouldn’t move.
As I got closer I could see you had gone, even as I called the ambulance and they were talking me though CPR I knew there was no point that was obvious enough.
You had the phone in your hand, even now I wonder did it happen after we spoke on the phone or were you trying to call for help.
My emotions? Panic, terror, sorrow, grief, emptiness but now peace. I’m glad I was the one to find you that day 2 years ago but I do miss you Nan.